When I was still pregnant people told me that it doesn't matter how strong your relationship is, it will struggle to survive once you have a baby. I didn't really listen as I thought that people were exaggerating, but honestly they were right.
You will get tired and cranky with each other, when the baby cries for seemingly no reason and you have checked all the usual (hungry, needs changing, tired, wind etc) you will blame each other for not being able to soothe the baby. But if you're anything like us, you will have a little argument then realise it's silly and only because you're tired and then apologise to each other and have a big family hug. I'm not saying that we argue all of the time, but there are occasions where you will think your partner could do more to help or something, and they will think they do loads and you will end up having a discussion about it but it won't last forever and you have to remember that it is normal.
I think it would be less normal to not argue when you're both tired, more tired than you've ever been. I have worked some pretty difficult night shifts in the hospital and even then I have never been as tired as I have been with the baby so it is logical to get tired and stressed out and take it out on the people closest to you.
I will also point out that men get jealous. Not all men probably, but definitely my hubby. He asks me for cuddles now because he gets a bit jealous that EmJ gets loads of cuddles and he doesn't think he gets any. He especially likes me to cuddle him to sleep because night time is probably when I spend most of my time watching the baby to make sure she's not sick in her sleep or something and every little sound she makes I'm awake and watching her, so he feels like I don't pay him enough attention now. Luckily he has told me about this, and does ask me for cuddles, but if he hadn't we could easily have ended up splitting up because he felt I wasn't giving him enough attention, and I have seen people split up for this reason. So my advice is talk to your partner and if you or him feel left out then tell them so you can work through it. There are some statistics out there That state that men are more likely to cheat when they have a young baby at home because they feel left out and just enjoy the attention given to them by the other woman. I can see why this is true as if I hadn't started showing more affection to hubby he probably would have sought it elsewhere.
Have you got any advice about parenting and relationships?
Xxx
Hi, I must write about this too as it was a huge issue when I had baby number 1 and I was not prepared at all. We have 3 kids now and couldn't be stronger but that first kid is tough. I read a book called baby proofing your marriage which was invaluable and funny! #fromtheheart
ReplyDeleteHi, thanks for your comment ☺ I might have a look at that book! Glad that you are stronger now and have 3 beautiful kids ☺ xxx
DeleteWhen I was pregnant with Roscoe I asked my friend to remind me that I could not try and split up with my husband before the baby was one, just in case hormones or emotions were ruling my decision. When Roscoe was one I told her, 'Let's make it two...' Thanks so much for sharing #fromtheheart
ReplyDeleteThat is such a good idea!I have had to remind myself a few times that it is hormones and tiredness that makes me angry at him, so getting someone to remind you of that seems like a good idea ☺
Delete#fromtheheart xxx
I find the hardest thing is that the baby means you do less things as a couple - one of you is always watching the baby! Thanks for sharing #fromtheheart
ReplyDeleteIt is a lot harder to do things as a couple, we went out just the two of us for our anniversary while my mam looked after EmJ and I was texting my mam the entire time making sure EmJ was okay which ruined the evening a little bit! I don't think we can go out together for a while though so will just have to think of things we can take the baby to ☺
DeleteHow are you coping?
#fromtheheart xxx